Tears

Today life is hard, and tears flow cascading into a pool of lost dreams and hopes.  I struggle between my desire to "pull it together" and my need to just be honest with where I am right now.  As a person with chronic migraines, I have watched many of my dreams and hopes take second place to pain.  I have watched relationships and activities that I love being a part of take a second place to pain.  I have seen my financial security swept away because of pain. Although I believe that there is grace and hope to be found in this journey, there are times when the hopeful adult gives way to the fearful and lost child.  

I find that through expressing my heartfelt tears that they somehow wash away the film that keeps me from seeing the hope.   However, I have to allow myself to experience the tears, the loss and the pain and take them to my Eternal source of Hope before I can begin to face the journey anew with strength, grace and perseverance. 

Hold Me Jesus by Rich Mullins

Well, sometimes my life just 
Don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big

And my faith just seems so small

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark

It's so hot inside my soul

I swear there must be blisters on my heart

Surrender don't come natural to me

I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want

Than to take what You give that I need

And I've beat my head against so many walls 

Now I'm falling down,

I'm falling on my knees                                        

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace"

Hear "Hold Me Jesus"