What Is Your Refuge in the Storm?

***This just in from the National Weather Service*** Hurricane Megrim is closing in on the shores of the Mississippi River with winds of 150 miles per hour resulting in massive destruction along the Mississippi Valley.  We had hoped to take you live to ours news anchor, Tim Witt, who was standing by at the Memphis Harbor.  Unfortunately, we have been unable to contact Tim who we last saw hanging on to a light pole as large pieces of debris from nearby homes were being swept into the river, and Tim was being buffeted by twenty foot waves.  Please join us in prayers for the safety of Tim and his crew.


Yes, I know that theoretically there are no hurricanes on the Mississippi River, or in the Memphis area; however, I have certainly been through my share of hurricanes, as I am sure many of you have regardless of where you live.  The winds of migraine have buffeted us and threatened to carry us out to sea along with the debris.  Frequently, that debris that we longingly watch as it is being washed away consists of our jobs, our financial security, our independence, friendships, and many other things we hold dear.  And like Tim Witt, we continue to hold onto the light pole hoping that our grip is strong enough to save us through this storm.


However, the bottom line is that we will never have a grip strong enough to keep us safe in Hurricane Megrim on our own.  Just like a regular hurricane, Hurricane Megrim comes with more than just rain - the accompanying symptoms of the storm are staggering and frequently overwhelming.


What is your refuge in the storm?  Or do you, like Tim Witt, hang on by the tips of your fingers hoping and praying that you will once again survive another storm without being washed out to sea?  I know many of us frequently feel like we are that sole person in the midst of the storm hanging precariously to whatever pole is close by; however, I urge you to develop your own hurricane evacuation plan so that you might find refuge in the storm.


As the winds begin to grow and the water swells, what are your first instincts?  For some, it is to climb under the covers and cry "not again, please not again, I just can't take this anymore."  We succumb to Hurricane Megrim and just pray that we come out alive.


However, we all have at hand an evacuation route that allows us to get through the storm with the least amount of damage.  We cannot escape the storm, but we can survive it.  My evacuation plan includes a number of safe houses along the way.  These safe houses are reached by phone or internet where I can call a friend who will ride out the storm with me and share their own strength to help me get through it.  Some of these are friends from my pre-chronic migraine days but some are also friends that I have developed because of my migraines - people I have met through My Migraine Connection, Migraine.com, Facebook and other networking opportunities to get to know other migraineurs.  These people are frequently my lifelines, my anchors, in the storm.


I turn to these people when I need someone to hold onto hope for me.  I turn to them when I need to know that I am not alone in the storm.  I turn to them to learn from their experiences with their own storms.  We share survival stories and gather strength from one another.  When I am unable to think rationally, they provide normalcy for me.  They speak words of truth to me, reminding me of other times when I have successfully made it through the storm.  When all I can do is sit and cry in despair, they sit and listen without condemnation.  They don't offer easy fixes or trite platitudes, but they do remind me of the resources that are available to me and help me to find hope and laughter in the midst of the storm.  These safe houses on my evacuation route are a place where I can be me - I can be vulnerable and know that I will not emerge hurt because of my willingness to risk the truth.


While my evacuation route includes a number of other stops - medication, biofeedback, prayer, deep breathing, ice packs, there is nothing like reaching out to someone who is also in the midst of the storm and who is surviving with grace, hope and dignity.  If you are alone in Hurricane Megrim, I encourage you to reach out to others who are in the storm.  I've mentioned a couple of ways to find these fellow journeyers, but if you need help finding safe houses for your evacuation plan, please let me know.  I am happy to share the abundant resources that have been shared with me.


Once several years ago, I read a book about migraines written by patient advocate and fellow migraineur extraordinaire, Teri Robert.  I contacted Teri because her book exuded hope and potential to me and as I read I knew she understood my storm because she lived through her own storms.  She was speaking not from theory but from the heart.  She helped me to connect with other migraineurs who have since become dear friends and safe houses in the storm.


We are all in this together.  We can share our experiences, our strength and our hope and be the refuge to one another that we so desperately need.  You do not have to stand in the midst of Hurricane Megrim holding onto the pole on the harbor by yourself.  You too can have safe houses along a proven evacuation plan.

Choosing Grace

I have been planning this blog for quite a while now, thinking about what I would want to say in my blog and why I would even want to have a blog. It's not exactly like I have great wisdom or knowledge to share with the world - there are plenty of good blogs and sites that do that! I write this not as an expert, but as a co-journeyer. I have come to realize that my greatest challenge in dealing with migraines and chronic pain has to do with my coping skills or how I choose to weather the storms of the life I lead.

I use the word "choose" with some discretion as I don't believe that one can "will" themselves to be well. Let's face it, if we could, most of us would have already taken that route. (And platitudes such as "you just need to get out in the sun," "pull yourself up by your bootstraps," "choose to get over this," "it can't be that bad, have you seen a therapist?" all make me quite ill.) What I have come to know, however, is that the quality of my life largely depends on where I put my focus. There are certain truths I can't ignore:

1. I have chronic, intractable migraines (as well as some other conditions)- which cause me to be in pain 24/7.

2. I have set out to educate myself about my conditions and have pursued the best medical help I can and have followed that advice. The conclusion has been that I am a "complicated patient." (Don't you love it when the doctor says that to you?)

3. I have had to give up my career and am pretty much homebound.

4. These conditions have impacted me physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually and socially.

These are the facts, and I could very well focus upon them - which I frequently do. I refer to my migraines as "the beast" and I find myself frequently battling the beast. More germane, however, is that I find myself often giving into the beast. This blog is really just my journal of how I am choosing to not give into the beast. I'd love to welcome you along this journey with me, for there are other things that I have also found to be truths. These truths that I equally can't ignore are:

1. I have a loving heavenly Father who is constantly seeking to strengthen me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

2. I have much for which to be grateful. I have a wonderful and loving family; I have the best friends in the world; I have a virtual migraine family and small group that brings me encouragement, joy and support everyday; I have the world's best fur baby (Marlie), my financial and personal needs are faithfully being met, and many, many other blessings.

3. There are a number of things available to help me with handling my pain even when medications fail me. They include prayer, mindfulness, rest, stretching, exercise, eating right, adopting an attitude of gratitude, reaching out to other migraineurs, looking for ways to help others and, most importantly, a pair of world class sunglasses! (Oh, let me not forget to mention the full shelf in both my freezer and my refrigerator dedicated to ice packs!! God bless the inventor of ice packs! I believe I probably have every style and model available, but just in case I don't, I am always open to suggestions.)

The bottom line is that I cannot make my migraines miraculously disappear - I've tried. If only I could be like Bewitched and wiggle my nose and make everything right! Unfortunately, it hasn't worked. So, for now, what I fervently want to do is to learn to live with chronic illness with grace, hope, dignity and peace. This is not a passive task, but one to which I believe I must set my mind, my intentions and my actions. That certainly doesn't mean that I won't have the occasional meltdown, pity party, or temper tantrum. In fact, they may not even be that occasional. I admit it - I am human, fancy that? And I am quite sure that there are individuals reading this now who are rolling on the floor laughing because they have been witness to my meltdowns, pity parties, and temper tantrums and know that when I do it, I do it right! lol

However, the bottom line is that I intend to pursue and find grace in the storm by taking advantage of all the means available to me. For today, that means starting this blog.

I hope you will also find success in finding grace for the storm.

Thanks for listening to and for sharing in this journey with me!

Cyn